How Far Would You Go? II Pt. 2 (TMNT x Reader)

    You can barely hear the voice calling your name. It is like all sound is in a far off distance; like a hazy dream. Your eyes droop. You see darkness; nothing. Your head feels heavy, your mind groggy, and, due to your aching muscles, you can barely move. You are mostly asleep than you are awake.

    "(NAME!)" The voice clashes through the silence of your mind and you are shaken awake. Immediately you jolt back into full awareness, like your conscious was suddenly slammed back into your head. Your breathing hitches at the suddenness of it as you snap your eyes wide open, catching yourself before you fall over. You clutch whatever you can for support as you recover from your shock.

    "You know, if you plan to make this a challenge for me, you might want to try to stay awake."

    Breathing choppily, you turn to see Michelangelo sitting next to you, his eyes beaming and a smile spread across his face. You take a look at your surroundings. You are sitting on the couch in the common area of the lair. The TV screen in front of you says "PARTYDUDE#1 wins," and you realize a game counsel controller is resting in your lap. Now you remember.

    "Sorry, Mikey," you say sleepily. You give him a smile as you yawn a bit. You groan as you stretch, but you groan because it hurts. Everything just feels sore.

    Healing was not easy, but it wasn't difficult. It took some time for you to start walking on your own again, of course; but once that was taken care of, Donnie allowed you to maneuver outside the lab. Raph and Mikey would rotate keeping an eye on you. Donnie and Leo would be around you from time to time, but most of the time, they were busy trying to find where Bishop was hiding.

    You were able to walk on your own about a week and a half ago. It felt weird standing after having to stay in bed all that time. Your legs were extremely wobbly and you couldn't take a step without swaying a lot. Getting your legs back to full strength took a few days, but now you can walk around normally again. Most of your wounds are healed enough, like simple bruises and cuts, but, of course, more serious injuries are not fully healed yet. You still have to wear bandages for those injuries, like the gauze around your arms and a couple of wrappings around your legs, but over all, you were feeling much better.

    But that doesn't explain why your muscles ache right now.

    "Geez!" Mikey playfully huffs as you yawn again. "Maybe I should call dibs on you first if you're going to be tired this late in the day."

    "Why?" a gruff voice sternly asks. You and Mikey quickly turn around. Raph is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and an irritated look on his face. "You want 'er to relax and play 'round all day? That won't help 'er get stronger, now will it?"

    You hear Mikey say, "Dude, I only meant…"

    "I don't CARE what you meant!" Raph suddenly barks, standing straight up as he glares at his brother. The harshness and force in his voice makes you cringe, igniting the soreness in your already aching muscles.

    It never did lessen your anxiety to see Raph angry. If anything, it made it worse, increasing your heart rate, tensing your muscles, and just having you feel on edge, just by hearing his forceful, threatening voice. Even though you were feeling better, Donnie says such strain on your body is not good for you right now.

    Shivering as you try to calm your body down, you subtly clear your throat and slowly raise your hand to get his attention. "Raph…?" you say in a small voice.

    He snarls at you and he takes a step forward, his eyes slightly fueled by rage. "Look at how pathetic you are. You're taking too long to heal. Tough'n up, would yah?! We're training again today. You got that? Now shake it off and wake up!" Your heart leaps at the tone he is using with you.

    Mikey interjects. "Dude! Raph, wait…!"

    "Raph!" snarls another voice. Donnie approaches and stands beside you. He places a soothing, gentle hand on your shoulder to help calm you down. You look up at him and see the calm yet stern look in his eyes as he glares at Raph.

    "Doctor in the house?" Raph angrily snorts.

    You take hold of Donnie's arm for reassurance as you questioningly watch Raph.

    "She needs rest," Donnie said, his voice very composed, though the look in his eye was firm. "Over working her will not help."

    "OVER WORKING 'ER?!" Raph roars, advancing towards Donnie. Again, the force in his voice sends a jolt of anxiety through your body and you cringe, leaning a little on Donnie for support as you recover. "She's been resting long enough. She needs to get to get 'er blood flowing and fight it off. The only way to get results is if she's pushed hard enough!" Your stomach is squeezey with concern; more concern for Raph than yourself. He is acting strange—more angry that usual.

    You look back up at Donnie. He didn't budge, he didn't tense up, but his scowl only deepened. He was quiet for a moment. "I know what you are going through, but you know that's not the answer," he said. "It's not her fault."

    Silently, you hold your breath as Raph only glares at Donnie, a firm growl rumbling in his throat. You see from the corner of your eye that Mikey isn't moving either. Raph bares his teeth, gritting them together and you can see his jaw clenched up. His golden eyes are on fire, and clad by his red bandana, it actually makes his eyes look all the more fierce. His fists are clenched and his shoulders are tight as well. You are so sure if the slightest sound is made, he would snap. You hold onto Donnie's arm tighter, paralyzed with fear by this standoff.

    Finally, Raph huffs. "You don't want to over work 'er? Fine," he snorts. "See if I care." He storms off.

    You let out a shaky breath. You can feel your heart fluttering a bit and your hands unclench around Donnie. Mikey too lets out a shaky sigh of relief and places his hand on his heart, relaxing at last.

    Donnie kneels beside you. "Are you ok?" He checks you over, feeling your pulse, running his hands over your muscles to make sure you aren't tense or shaky.

    "I'm fine, Donnie," you answer with a nod. Raph's outburst did give you a little fright, leaving you a bit shaken, but you are ok.

    "I'm sorry," Donnie says, rubbing your back to help calm you down. "There's… there's just been a lot on his mind lately. You know Raph. He's just got to be forceful to get his emotions out. He doesn't blame you and he doesn't mean to hurt you."

    You only nod, showing that you understand.

A week and a half ago…

    A few days after you could walk on your own, Raph would take you to train when it was his turn to watch you. Play and relax time was with Mikey, but Raph wanted you to work. He would have you do simple things, like walk laps, pull a bag of sand around, and jump stacks of books. They were simple tasks. He knew you weren't capable to do extreme work outs in the condition you were in and he didn't want you to hurt yourself, so he had you do little things like that just to get your blood flowing again.

    As the days went on, however, you noticed Raph was starting to get on edge. He would be hard on you. He would have you do those tasks for hours. Even though they were simple, he would push you hard to perform them. He didn't want you to stop, he didn't care when you got weary; he wanted you to get stronger.

Present time…

    That would explain why you are feeling so tired and why your muscles hurt so much. Your work out with Raph today was absolutely exhausting.

    Seeing that you are tired, Mikey calls off the game so you can rest. Donnie helps you back to the lab and lays you down on the bed. As he checks your vitals and heart rate on the monitors, your mind gets real cloudy. You fell asleep in seconds and it felt like only minutes when you wake up feeling a lot better. Your muscles are no longer sore and your mind feels fresh and awake.

    You get up, slide the lab door open, and walk out into the common area. You don't know how long you have been sleeping because the whole place is quiet. You don't see anyone. The couch is empty, the TV is off, no one is in the kitchen, and the practice dummy doesn't look like it has been touched in a while.

    "Hello?" you say in a small voice. There is no answer. You slowly make your way through the common area, listening for any movement, any sound, any indication that someone is home. Strange. It's normally not this quiet in the liar, that is, unless the guys are out; but you remember Leo saying that you are not to be left alone. You pass through the hallway where the bedrooms are. All the doors are closed—even Mikey's. Respecting their private areas, you simply knock on each door. There is no response. Still, only silence. Maybe Master Splinter is still here. You make your way to the dojo. Through the crack underneath the door, you are happy to see the lights are on. He must be in there meditating. You don't want to disturb him, but you decide to take a quick look, just to make sure he is there. Slowly and quietly, you open the door, peak inside, and you freeze. You try to swallow a large lump in your throat as you see Raphael sitting quietly on the mats—meditating.

    Raph is meditating? You've never seen that before. But, you take another look around and notice the dojo is pretty much destroyed. It appears that a few weights have been tossed around, some mats have been torn up, a practice dummy had its head torn off with a few throwing knives plunged into its abdominal, a punching bag was ripped to shreds, and the walls had a few dents and scrapes on it. You could only guess what had happened here before Raph settled down for some quiet time.

    You quietly try to close the door.

    "What are you doing, kid?" You hear Raph say.

    A chill darts up your spine and you gulp. You look at him. His eyes are still closed, but he senses your presence. "I'm sorry," you whisper. "I… I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just go." Again, you try to close the door.

    "Kid…" Raph says, eyes now open, looking at you. He cocks his head, gesturing you to enter.

    You take a deep breath, clench your hands, and enter the dojo. You avert your eyes as you slowly approach him. He doesn't sound mad or irritated, but you are still afraid to look at him. From your peripheral vision, you detect movement. Raph gets up and walks over to you. Your heart leaps and you freeze where you are. He reaches out and you feel so ashamed when you flinch. You are expecting him to tug on you, drag you over to start training again, or something. Instead, he lays his hand on your shoulder. You are surprised at how gentle he is and you relax your stiff body. You look up at him.

    He is staring at the floor, not making eye contact with you at all. His shoulders aren't tight. His whole body looks relaxed, but not like a relief relaxed; more like a melancholy relaxed. He's breathing slowly and softly.

    "(Name…)" he sighs your name. He pauses, lightly tightening his grip on you. You can hear his breathing get heavier. Your stomach clenches up in concern. You never want to see your friend sad; in such pain. Seeing him sad only gives you a sticky feeling of sadness, as well. You slowly raise your hand to rest on his arm, trying to comfort him.

    Your eyes snap wide open and you gasp loudly in complete shock as he roughly and suddenly tugs you into his arms. You collide onto his smooth, yet firm plastron with a grunt and he holds you tight. Your hearts skips a beat. Trembling from the sudden jolt of adrenaline, you try to push him off so you can have the space and air to recover. Placing you sweaty, clenched hands on his now tight shoulders, your arms can't help but quiver as you weakly push against him. Scrunching your brow as you questioningly whine, trying to have him let you go, he only embraces you tighter. You feel his strong arms around your body and his nose nuzzling in your hair. You can barely feel his hand shaking as he holds your head against his shoulder, as if he never wants to let you go.

    "Raph?!" you finally say, your voice still whining and jittery. "Raph?!"

    "I CAN'T LOSE YOU, (NAME!)" he loudly and gruffly says.

    You lessen your struggling and calm your breathing as you listen to his words.

    "I just can't." When he feels you stop resisting, he loosens his grip around you, but still holds you. "I was so scared, (Name.) I was so scared that I was angry... furious." He takes a handful of your hair. "I still remember. I remember that night when I was holding you. You were so cold, and frail, and motionless. It was like I was holding your… your dead body."

    You whisper to him, trying to calm him down. "Raph, its ok. I'm right here. I'm here."

    He growls, takes a firm hold of your shoulders, and you gasp as he yanks you off of him, holding you close to his face so that you meet him eye-to-eye. Your eyes widen. He's not hiding it anymore. His bloodshot eyes, so full of sadness and anger.

    "Have you ever had someone close to you nearly die in your arms and there was nothing you could about it?!" he roars. You cringe in fear at his forcefulness and try to shrink back, but he holds you steady. "Tell me, (Name!) Have you?! And to make matters worse, you find out they nearly lost their lives to save YOU! You're the reason for their suffering! You're the reason they almost died!"

    You squeeze your eyes shut before the tears start to form. "Raph, I'm sorry!" you wail, attempting again to pull away from him. "I'm sorry!" You try to hold in your crying, still turned away from him in utter shame and fear. You've seen Raph angry before… but never at you. Or was he angry at you?

    You hear him breathing, nearly panting in rage. Slowly, very slowly, his grip loosens on you. "No," he growls. "This isn't your fault."

    You look up at him, the tears now spilling from your eyes. He seems to sense how frightened you are and lets you go, making sure you are steady on your feet first. He takes a step back, staring at the floor again.

    "(Name,)" his voice much softer now, "(Name,) this isn't your fault… but you must understand how much it pains me so much to see my friends hurt." He sighed. "Leo… when Leo nearly lost his life, I made a vow never to let another close to me suffer like that again. I wanted to kill Shredder so badly." His fist clenched up tightly. "And now Bishop… If only I was there, I would... (Name,) do you realize how important you are to us… to me? You're our best friend. We should be sacrificing ourselves to save you. You shouldn't be willing to make such a sacrifice like that for us."

    You jitter a bit. "Raph," you whisper, "I know what I did was stupid. I should have called you guys for help. I never should have made the deal with Bishop in the first place. But, as a real friend, am I not responsible to keep you guys safe, too?"

    He looks at you for a moment. He then averts his eyes to the ground, shaking his head as to say 'Tsk, tsk,' as he walks towards you again. He pulls you into a gentle hug, holding onto you with one arm. "You're either brave or stupid; or a bit of both," he says softly, rubbing your head. "I don't mean to sound harsh, (Name,) but we're turtles and we're mutants. You're human. The affairs we get ourselves in are way too dangerous for you; even dangerous for us. Don't you understand? You lack the experience and durability to survive such things." He rubs your head again. "Do you understand what I am saying to you? You can really get yourself killed."

    You nod, pressing your face against his chest. Now you understand. Raph admits he is scared. His anger is towards Bishop, not towards you. He is angry at himself for not being there for you. That would explain why he is working you so hard.

    "Raph, I never meant to hurt you," you softly say. "Honest, I wasn't. I guess I just wasn't thinking straight. I just... I just... want to be there for you, too. I didn't mean for it to go this far."

    There is silence for a minute. Raph then roughs up your hair and he chuckles a bit. "I know, kid. I know." He gives you one last hug and finally releases you. You watch as he walks back over to the mats. "Guess I better start cleaning up before the guys get back, eh?" he jokingly states. "I know for certain Leo's gonna whoop my shell if he finds this place a mess. Better get on back to bed and let me work on this."

    He gives you a wink and you smile. You head towards the door of the dojo and slide it open.

    "Hey, kid," you hear Raph say before you leave. "I'm keep'n an eye on you."